Squirm, an erotic parody
by
Cari Silverwood
Blurb:
A parody of everything great and weird in erotic romance that
could be stuffed into one book without it exploding.
For some girls, one tentacle isn’t enough.
Having a bad day isn’t good but when Virginia Chaste has a bad
day, she gets felt up by a tentacle monster. If it simply has to happen, let it
at least be a billionaire and a hot biker.
Virginity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and her search for the
Holy Grail of Erotic Romance, the ten inch purple-headed schlong, may have
finally borne fruit.
Yeehaw! Playing hide the tentacle has never been so much fun.
Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Squirm-captive-billionaire-tentacle-monster-ebook/dp/B00K7CZ1T6/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1399576409&sr=1-4
Excerpt:
Chapter 1
Virginia swept back her long blonde hair and smiled as
enticingly as she could at the man on the other side of the chain mesh gate.
Her little black dress was fine but the six inch red stilettos were going to
kill her any second. He grinned back, anchoring his fingers high in the mesh,
leaning on the gate, and exuding eau de biker. The muscle of his flexed and
tattooed bicep shone under the florescent light.
“C’mon in. We don’t bite much. Name’s Jace.”
She breathed in again, swooned, then swiftly recovered and
slipped past Jace into the garage.
Eau de Biker. Mmm. Oil,
leather, and beer smells always did it to her. Her panties had wet through in
an instant.
But, she had a job to do.
The garage was dark, dingy and filled with testosterone-hyped
tatted up bikers. They roamed across the concrete floor checking out the
chromed bikes like a pack of thirsty hungry snakes let loose on a Sunday picnic
of virginal squeaky mice.
She shook her head, knowing she’d imagined that with way too
many adjectives. Sometimes her imagination went a little gaga.
Past the knowledge that she was here to look for Cyndie, she
wondered, ever so hopefully, if among these men she would find her holy grail –
what she’d been saving herself for from the day she opened the pages of her
first romance novel – the man with the ten inch purple-headed schlong.
Fabio with his flowing locks could take a hike.
Author Bio:
Cari Silverwood is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling
author of BDSM stories and dark erotic fiction.
She writes the way the world should be – dangerous and sexy with
bullets piercing the darkness and lovers wrenched close by ropes. When you need
escape, when you need that rough lover to bring you to your knees, here you
will find stories to singe your fingers. The taste of adventure, the tang of
BDSM, the burn of fantasy run wild. Brace yourselves, if you dare to read.
And…in this real world, she has a lovely family in Australia,
with the prerequisite teenager who dwells in the dark bedroom catacombs…a
husband who raises eyebrows when he catches glimpses of what she writes, and a
menagerie of other animals barking, meowing, and swimming about the place.
Giveaway:
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Review by Connelly:
Definitely a parody and meant to be a wave of laughs. Silverwood has a crazy imagination! The sex scenes were definitely steamy and something out of this world but the humor started on page one and lasted throughout. Definitely a read for the erotica fan and critique if looking for a laugh. I received a copy from the author for fair review.
